Misbehavior

You may have heard by now, but the Public Library of Cincinnati & Hamilton County is in the paper yet again. However, its just another scandalous day at the library. Of course, you could blame it on the supermoon like the Security department and the police. Or you could blame it on everyday crazy human behavior. I suppose its possible that full moons have an affect on behavior, but I kind of doubt that its ever been completely documented and proven. But I'm not a scientist, so I could be wrong. Actually, I think I'll take a moment to look it up on Google. That's always reliable. It's not, you say? Hmmm. And here I thought it was the guiding light of every librarian.

So since you're probably all wondering what this horrific incident was, I will now tell you. A man and a woman were caught in flagrante delicto while in one of the library stairwells. Literally caught with their pants down. I am abundantly relieved that I was not the one to find them. I'm not sure what happened to the guy, but the girl ran away without her pants! After unsuccessfully hiding from staff and security, the patron was identified by my coworker. We thought it was quite ridiculous that she had to be identified since she was the only patron in the building who was naked from the waist down.

We decided that none of us ever want to use the stairwells again. Who wants to take the risk of stumbling upon something so unpleasant?  However, my coworker and I decided that it might not be quite so disconcerting if they were extremely attractive people. Oh, how we laughed! Such uproarious gaiety! The misfortunes of patrons can be so amusing!

If you would like to read the police version of the Incident, click here.

Haiku Adventures

This is sort of a "Choose Your Own Adventure" haiku.
Read at your own risk.

The public library
Where everyone knows your name
(option 1)
Cause you cussed us out
(option 2)
Cause you got arrested
(option 3)
Cause you got crazy fines

Library patrons
A new reality show
Now in the making

These are inspired by Cincinnati Canstruction at the Library

Tuna Storm Trooper
His body beneath the floor
Upside-down ostrich

A storm trooper bust
His head is full of canned fish
What time is dinner?

scannán

Bhí mé ag obair ar scoil inniu. Bhí slaghdán orm. Tá súil agam go mbeidh biseach orm go luath. Bhí páistí ag teacht anseo chun Béarla a fhoghlaim. Tá páistí áirithe óg agus tá páistí eile sean. Bíonn an t-oideachas go maith anseo.
Chuaigh muid go dtí an amharclann aréir chun “Stranger Than Fiction” a fheiceáil. Bhí sé an-spéisiúil. Bhí an amharclann plódaithe. Feicfidh mé é arís an tseachtain seo chugainn. Cheannaigh mé leabhair nua inné chomh maith.

Translation:

I was working at school today. I had a cold. I hope that I will be better soon. The children are coming here to learn English. Some children are young and other children are old. The education is good here.
We went to the theater last night to see "Stranger Than Fiction." It was very interesting. The theater was crowded. I will see it again next week. I bought new books yesterday as well.

Tall Stacks 2006

Tá mé anseo sa mbaile inniu. Tá sé Columbus Day agus tá sé te amuigh. Beidh mé ag obair ar ball. Ach anois, tá mé leisciúil. B'fhéidir go bhfuil codladh orm. Bhí mé ag léamh leabhar The Fourth Bear an t-ainm atá air. Scríobh Jasper Fforde é. Oíche De hAoine, chuala mé an adhairce bhád ar an abhainn. Bhí Tall Stacks anseo an deireadh seachtaine seo caite.

I am here in the house today. It is Columbus Day and it is hot outside. I will be working soon. But now, I am lazy. Maybe I am sleepy. I was reading a book called The Fourth Bear. Jasper Fforde wrote it. Friday night, I heard the boat horns on the river. Tall Stacks was here last weekend.

Illinois

Bhí mé in Elgin, Illinois inné. Chuaigh mé ar scoil. Is Judson College é. (I'm not sure how to state the name of a school.) Chonaic mé an leabharlann sean agus an leabharlann nua. Sol má an leabharlann, chonaic mé mo chara. Bhíomar ag caint ag a teach i bhfad. Chuamar chun cluife ar a seacht a chlog. Thóg mé mo chóta liom. Níl sé an-ghreann. Tháinig mé abhaile ar a haon déag a chlog. Ansin, d'itheamar eicínt bhia. Chuamar a chodladh ar a dó dhéag a chlog. Bhí sé fuar tráthnóna sin. Scríobh mé seo Déardaoin.

Chuamar ag siopadóireacht De hAoine ag siopa úll. Cheannaigh muid úlla, subh, agus císte. Bhí an siopa plódaithe. Chonaiceamar bó, muca, péire gabhair óga, agus capall ag an bhfeilm freisin. Bhí an toradh go maith. Sílim go mbeidh muid ag dul ar ais. Is maith liom é. Bhí úlla fairsing acu. Ní raibh muid ann i bhfad. Bhí sé deacair a bheidh ansin toisc go bhfuil an dreamanna. Ansin, d'itheamar dinnéar. Idir dinnéar agus ag siopadóireacht, chonaic mé mo aintín Ruth. Tá sí ina cónaí in Illinois. Bhí muid ag caint aon uair ar fad. Maidir leis an dinnéar, bhí sé go hiontach.



I was in Elgin, Illinois yesterday. I went to school. It is Judson College. I saw the old library and the new library. Before the library, I saw my friend. We were talking at her house a long time. We went to a game at seven o'clock. I took my coat with me. It was not very fun. I came home at eleven o'clock. Then, we ate some food. We went to sleep at twelve o'clock. It was cold that evening. I wrote this on Thursday.

We went shopping Friday at an apple store. We bought apples, jam, and cake. The shop was crowded. We saw a cow, pigs, a pair of young goats, and a horse at the farm also. The produce was good. I think that we will be going back again. I like it. They had plenty of apples. We were not there long. It was hard to be there because of the crowds. Then, we ate dinner. Between dinner and shopping, I saw my aunt Ruth. She lives in Illinois. We were talking an hour altogether. As far as dinner, it was wonderful.

saoire

Tá ocras orm. Íosfaidh mé mo bhricfeasta ar ball. Chuaigh mé isteach sa chistin. Ní maith liom a ithe ar maidin. Tá mo chat ag leanadh mé timpeall an tí. Tá dhá chat agam. Tá ceann amháin ramhar agus tá an cat eile tanaí. Uaireanta tá imní orm. Anois, tá mo chat ramhar ina codladh ar a droim. Tá sí an-aisteach.
Beidh muid ar laethanta saoire an tseachtain seo chugainn. Tá áthas orm go mbeidh muid ag imeacht. Beidh mo chomharsa anseo mo chait a choimhéad.

I am hungry. I will eat my breakfast soon. I went into the kitchen. I don't like to eat in the morning. My cat is following me around the house. I have two cats. One is fat and the other cat is skinny. Sometimes I am worried. Now my fat cat is sleeping on her back. She is very strange.
We will be on holiday next week. I am happy that we will be leaving. My neighbor will be here to watch my cats.



Gaeilge

Mo dheartháireacha

Stoith a fhiacla eagna ag mo dheartháir Isaac maidin inniu ar a deich a chlog. D'fhan mé in éineacht leis ag an teach mo mháthair agus m'athair inniu.

Bhí mo mháthair ag pleanáil in éineacht leis a fhanacht, ach bhí mo dheartháir eile tinn freisin. Bhí appendectomy aige tráthnóna De Luain. Tá sé ag freastail ar ollscoil i Michigan. Go deimhin, d'imigh an rang air inniu agus caillfidh sé ranganna amárach chomh maith.

Ar aon chaoi, ní stadfadh carball Isaac ag fuiliú. Mar sin, bhí imní orm lá uilig. Ach fad is a bhí muid ag dul abhaile, dúirt sé rudaí aisteacha. Anois, tá sé a dhéanamh eitleáin páipéir le nótaí agus ag teilgean agam. Tá mé ag gaire.

Translation:

My brother Isaac had his wisdom teeth pulled this morning at 10 o'clock. I stayed with him at my mother and my father's house today.
My mother was planning to stay with him, but my other brother was ill also. He had an appendectomy on Monday evening. He is attending university in Michigan. Actually, he missed the class today and he will miss classes tomorrow as well.
Anyway, Isaac's gums wouldn't stop bleeding. So I was worried all day. But while we were going home, he said strange things. Now, he is making paper airplanes with notes and throwing them at me. I am laughing.


Gaeilge