Misbehavior

You may have heard by now, but the Public Library of Cincinnati & Hamilton County is in the paper yet again. However, its just another scandalous day at the library. Of course, you could blame it on the supermoon like the Security department and the police. Or you could blame it on everyday crazy human behavior. I suppose its possible that full moons have an affect on behavior, but I kind of doubt that its ever been completely documented and proven. But I'm not a scientist, so I could be wrong. Actually, I think I'll take a moment to look it up on Google. That's always reliable. It's not, you say? Hmmm. And here I thought it was the guiding light of every librarian.

So since you're probably all wondering what this horrific incident was, I will now tell you. A man and a woman were caught in flagrante delicto while in one of the library stairwells. Literally caught with their pants down. I am abundantly relieved that I was not the one to find them. I'm not sure what happened to the guy, but the girl ran away without her pants! After unsuccessfully hiding from staff and security, the patron was identified by my coworker. We thought it was quite ridiculous that she had to be identified since she was the only patron in the building who was naked from the waist down.

We decided that none of us ever want to use the stairwells again. Who wants to take the risk of stumbling upon something so unpleasant?  However, my coworker and I decided that it might not be quite so disconcerting if they were extremely attractive people. Oh, how we laughed! Such uproarious gaiety! The misfortunes of patrons can be so amusing!

If you would like to read the police version of the Incident, click here.

Haiku Adventures

This is sort of a "Choose Your Own Adventure" haiku.
Read at your own risk.

The public library
Where everyone knows your name
(option 1)
Cause you cussed us out
(option 2)
Cause you got arrested
(option 3)
Cause you got crazy fines

Library patrons
A new reality show
Now in the making

These are inspired by Cincinnati Canstruction at the Library

Tuna Storm Trooper
His body beneath the floor
Upside-down ostrich

A storm trooper bust
His head is full of canned fish
What time is dinner?